Safe places to just be Menopausal.

I wanted to write a little more about safe spaces where you can be your menopausal self without constant apologies. I used to apologise frequently for hot flushes, sweating, weight changes, and mood swings. It's exhausting constantly making excuses for your "not-so-perfect-self!"

I do have ADHD which does naturally make me an “over-sharer” but at one point my sharing was (apparently) so over the top that my manager at the time brought it up in my end of year review!  He called it the “M-word”.  Apparently I mentioned it too much. The “M-Word”  ….yep…

I didn’t take offence to his observation as it clearly made him feel very uncomfortable. He couldn't even say "the word". What I did  do, was book time in his agenda so that we could sit together and I could explain what menopause was all about.  He was openly curious and asked many questions which I in turn appreciated.  I did not know as much then, as I do now, but hopefully I set him up with some solid knowledge and understanding.

Back to SAFE SPACES, where can you go if you just want to relax and not worry about your sweats, or that your hair is falling out or growing on your chin, where it is okay to feel emotional and no one will judge you.  Somewhere SAFE, somewhere you can go to enjoy peace, silence, vent or enjoy a damn good massage from trusted hands.

Support Groups are Essential.  Look locally - if you can’t find anything close to home, start one and if you rather not, you are bound to find a forum or a support group online or on one of your favourite social media platforms that you can join.  

Workplace support:

Depending on your work environment, there are often other people going through menopause at your workplace.  Some companies already have employee support/resource groups set up - or Menopause chat channels you could join. We spend a lot of time at work, so we really need support there.  If a support network doesn’t already exist, take the initiative and start one.  Many people will be very grateful for a safe space to be able to talk about it at work. We (us Menopausal Humans) are a huge community,  I heard this week and noted it down (Menopausing by Davina McCall - audiobook you can find it on Spotify it is utterly fantastic)  ……. 660 MILLION  people are heading to Menopause right now, with about half of that group active in the global workforce.  At this moment, world wide.  That is 660,000,000, humans.  Can you imagine!!!  So get out there and find your peeps, they will be there!

Friends:  Someone to talk to is so important.  Sometimes you might find that in your own friend group no one is going through, or will understand your journey.  Don't let that stop you from sharing - because your friends care about you. Your closest friends will be there for you.   

Partners: We often mistreat those we love most. If menopause is affecting your relationship, talk to your partner. Share your feelings and educate them on the science so they can better understand and support you. Providing reading material can also help. Communication and education are essential.

Massage: Feeling uncomfortable about your body during a massage is common, but as a holistic masseur, I assure you there's no judgment. Our goal is to heal and relieve your stress in a safe, nurturing manner.

For comfort and relaxation, my recommendation to you would be to look for a holistic or relaxation massage. Deep tissue or sports massage have their benefits but  generally this type of massage hurts and pain raises your Cortisol levels (stress hormone). Trendy massage salons can often be more expensive and as they also focus on the esthetic of the salon it could feel more intimidating. 

There are many more great things you could do, but I have a sneaky suspicion that this article is already too long.  I hope you made it to the end and that there was something useful here!   

So I will leave it here for now and hope that I have been able to give you some solid advice.  You are not alone.  We are big and we are mighty!  The Mighty Menopausals!  That’s us!!! And how Mighty Fine we are!!

Keep on rocking folks!!

Good vibrations only!!

Dezzy

note*  You may notice that I use the term people or humans rather than women.  I want to make sure that everyone feels included.  We can no longer assume there is only 1 gender going through menopause.  If you were born with an intact uterus and ovaries, no matter how you identify today, then you will go through menopause.